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Does it feel like WORK
meeting women?
by Vin DiCarlo
Does it ever feel like WORK meeting women?
And do you ever feel despite all your hard
work you're not even closer to your goal?
If you answered YES to either of those questions,
then READ ON.
I'm not going to lie, the dating game can
be quite frustrating.
You see a girl you like, but she has a boyfriend.
You think everything is going great with
a girl and she stops returning your calls.
Not to mention the fact that as the man
you pretty much have to do everything to
move things forward.
YOU have to have the courage to approach.
YOU have to keep the conversation going
at first, YOU have to escalate physically,
YOU have to get HER number or rack your
brain to figure out a logistical way to
take her home, YOU have to plan the date.
Not to mention there are much higher standards
for men's behavior than women.
(Don't get me started on that...let's just
say women are allowed to get away with sub-par
behavior just because they are "pretty.")
It can be pretty exhausting, especially
if you're not "extroverted" by
nature.
...I just had a client who often complained
of "extroversion fatigue."
I knew exactly what he meant because I used
to struggle with it too.
Before I began to teach myself pickup, I
would go out, and be mentally DRAINED after
talking to three or four women.
I would have to sit down and rest!
Think about how strange that is. In a situation
where you are supposed to be having fun
and RELAX, I was instead working harder
than I was at my full time job.
I'd go home and be absolutely DEAD... from
TALKING TO WOMEN!
Does that make any sense???
And there was the overall, general dating
fatigue. The emotional ups and downs, the
discouraging results, the effort I had to
make just to get women to hang out with
me or be in bed with me.
It was like a full time job and I was working
overtime!
When I first got in this game, I literally
had to force myself to go out and pickup
ALL DAY for days on end. (I admit, I was
a nerd, and pushed it to the extreme.)
But what can I say, I was passionate about
learning all this stuff (and not to mention
extremely eager for results after years
of sensual frustration).
I would push myself like professional athletes
push themselves in the gym.
I was working muscles I had never used before,
or to be more precise, I was forming NEW
NEUROPATHWAYS.
If you can relate to any of this, then you
are probably working too hard in your interactions
with women.
There are three reasons for this.
First, being socially proactive may be new
to you.
I recall when I first started lifting weights,
I didn't have upper pectoral muscles - the
muscle at the top of your chest just under
your clavicle that make your chest look
big.
Actually I did, but they were so small and
weak, it took a good three weeks to even
begin to feel them. Every time I worked
them out I was incredibly sore and could
barely move my arms.
And then I reached a tipping point of sorts,
where the muscle was developed enough that
I could handle big amounts of weight without
all the soreness and fatigue. Your mind
is the same way.
It takes time to develop these new neuro-pathways
on your own. If you're not pushing yourself
HARD day in-day out, it can take awhile,
depending on your skill level.
Another reason you may feel social fatigue
is because you think there's too much to
do or learn when meeting women.
This is actually a little different from
"fatigue." It's more like feeling
overwhelmed.
When you feel overwhelmed by something,
it can frazzle your mind, and lead to a
sort of depression, or discouragement, which
may feel like exhaustion if you're not deeply
aware. It's like your body is saying "ugh,
it's too much work. I give up before I can
even begin."
This will hold you back from DOING ANYTHING.
I suffered from this kind of feeling when
I started putting a lot of my theories on
paper. I looked at my notes and felt like
I was looking at one of those huge, complex
physics equations.
It was daunting to think that I had to DO
all this stuff just to have quality women
in my life.
The last reason for feeling exhausted in
the dating and mating game is that you are
spending too much mental energy in the wrong
places, wasting your focus on stuff that
isn't useful to pickup.
I'd say 99 percent of guys get it wrong
when it comes to attracting women. The thing
is, the woman usually can't tell, because
most guys learn to hide their inner "stuff"
after a few harsh rejections.
But this doesn't negate the fact that when
the average guy is attracted to a woman,
he spends his mental energy on trying to
impress her, or figure out if she likes
him.
Think about the messages we get from the
media, our parents and friends, and women
- it's the man's role to IMPRESS the woman
and EARN "a mate" from her.
Ridiculous!
I get so mad when I see some commercial
with a guy bumbling around trying to impress
some cute girl, and looking like a fool
while she giggles like she's better than
him because she's a girl.
Ok enough ranting... the point is that most
guys are screwed when it comes to being
in control of their dating lives.
But if a guy takes the time to adjust the
way his MIND works when it comes to attraction,
it changes everything.
You need to OPTIMIZE YOUR MIND and body
to function at the highest level when interacting
with women, because that's what's truly
attractive...
A MAN AT HIS BEST.
goarticles.com,
08.08.2008
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