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How to Avoid the Major
Potential Dangers and Scams in Online Dating?
by Clarence Lee
Popular thought is that everyone on the
internet is dishonest or dangerous. However,
the vast majority of them aren't. But you
still have to keep your eyes open and be
aware that the nice person that you've been
chatting with might not be who they say
they are. There are a few simple things
that you can do in order to avoid dangerous
situations. But the most powerful weapon
you have is your gut instinct.
While some types of danger can be emotional,
another type is physical danger. If you
ever feel physically intimidated by someone,
leave the situation immediately. You should
never have to fear for your safety while
on a date.
Tip 1: Meet your date in a public place,
in an area that you feel comfortable in
Be sure you do this. After exchanging e-mails
and talking on the phone, you might feel
like you know your date pretty well, but
you haven't interacted with them in person.
Even if you have received sweet e-mails
from them you should be aware of how they
conduct themselves. If you get any bad feelings,
be cautious. Feeling jittery or anxious
on the first date might just be nerves,
but it could also mean something more. Set
your dates in public places before you feel
comfortable enough to go somewhere more
intimate with them. Don't rush things and
don't let your partner pressure you into
rushing things either.
Tip 2: Google your date
Once you have your potential match's name
you might want to type it into a search
engine and see what comes up. You can find
information that matches what they're telling
you for example if they say that they work
for a real estate agency and you find the
agency website with his picture and information
on it, you know that they are telling the
truth. If you type in your date's name you
might discover that they are not who they
say they are or you can even find out if
they are a felon or a sex offender. As scary
as this sounds, it only takes a minute and
if this is the case, you'll be glad that
you did.
Tip 3: Remember that your date might not
be telling the truth
When meeting someone online you have to
recognize that all you know about them is
questions that they filled in on a survey
and what they tell you. Everyone wants to
present themselves in the best light, so
sometimes there is a little bit of exaggeration
in their profiles. For example, if someone
is currently unemployed they might enter
their job as something that they want to
do instead of something that they are currently
doing.
While you can make your profile as honest
as possible, it doesn't mean that your date
has done the same. But sometimes honesty
is not even the issue. It can also be the
information that they withhold. Someone
could write that they enjoy having a drink
with their friends and omit that they don't
stop after one drink.
Tip 4: Look for inconsistencies
Keep in mind the things that they have listed
on their profile and if you start picking
out too many inconsistencies, be wary. Also
note if there are any behaviors that they
didn't list on their profile. Being rude
to a waiter shouldn't be a deal breaker,
but if you notice that the rude behavior
extends to people, note that this could
be their regular behavior.
Tip 5: Communicate with your partner clearly
If you assume that the you and your object
of affection are mutually exclusive, then
you could be in for a rude awakening if
you should find out that they are still
seeing other people. It's also easy to get
over involved with someone and only find
out later that they're not as enraptured
as you are.
More pitfalls include not being clear about
what each person wants out of the relationship.
Without communication, you may find that
one person wants to date casually while
the other wants a long term relationship.
Some of these factors can change over time,
but you're in danger of being hurt if you
assume one thing or another.
Tip 6: Recognize when you're being taken
advantage of
After building up your trust in a controlled
setting, such as e-mails and text messages,
it can be all too easy to think that there
is nothing wrong with behaviors that soon
become exhausting.
This can happen on many levels. You can
suddenly find yourself paying for expensive
dates, presents, and other incidentals that
your partner wants. While it's great to
provide your date with nice things and treat
them for special events and birthdays, there
comes a point where your partner becomes
too expensive for you to keep up with. If
your partner knows that you don't have a
lot of money to spend on going out to eat,
but still insist on doing it, this is a
clear sign that they want to drain cash
that you don't even have.
Tip 7: Don't give in to pressure
You can also find yourself being pressured
into doing things that you don't want to
do. As cliche as it sounds, if you are really
enamored with your partner and want to please
them they can take advantage of this and
ignore your needs and comfort for their
own satisfaction.
Make sure that your relationship is mutual.
Put your foot down if there is something
that you will not do for your partner. If
you find that there are too many things
that you disagree on then you both might
be better off with a different partner.
Try to compromise, but don't let yourself
be a doormat.
Tip 8: Try to be objective
It's tempting to ignore the things you don't
like about someone and focus on the things
that you do. But if there is a particular
part of their personality that you don't
like, you have to remember that it's very
difficult for people to change the behaviors
that they've had their entire life.
Tip 9: Don't be paranoid
While there are dishonest people looking
for someone to take advantage of, there
are ten times as many honest people who
are looking for someone special. Trust your
instincts. A little caution goes a long
way but don't become suspicious of everyone
that you meet.
goarticles.com,
12.08.2008
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